I wish there was a way to ask you all my questions. to learn all about who you were and what you were like. I’ve been told that I look like you and I’ve been told that Harrison does a lot of the same things you did. I know that you had your reasons for not seeing me any longer, and I’ve come to peace with it but there are still questions. Questions that will never be answered. My cousin gave me a box of things that were yours, pictures, letters, your first stuffed animal. I have gone through that box of memories and I think I have a better picture of who you were.
I had made a plan once, when I was 12, that on my 18th birthday I was going to find you and ring your doorbell and see if you even knew who I was. I wanted you to see the woman I had become. I wanted to ask you a million questions. I wanted to show you that I was alight. I was an angry child but I was alright. I wanted to see the eyes that looked like mine and know that you still thought about me, still cared about me. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, you left this world when I was 14 and I was left with my questions. Shelly and Aunt Jean helped me answer some of those.
I wish I could say that I wish things could have been different but, I love the person I have become and if my story had started differently I wouldn’t be who I am today. You are always with me and I have let go of the anger, and the pain, and the feelings of abandonment because I know you did the best you could.